


Good Enough

by daddykeehl



Category: Death Note
Genre: Figuratively, Gay, M/M, Oneshot, Religious Undertones, Weirdness, i wrote it at 3 am, just weird, like its kinda implied Mello's a demon, mello/near - Freeform, mostly a long drabble, probably anyway, sort of, vague at times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 11:06:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8665219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daddykeehl/pseuds/daddykeehl
Summary: Darkness festers inside of everyone, no matter who they are. But it is their choice, to either embrace it or lock it up and throw away the key.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm unaware if this will post entirely. If it doesn't (I.e. obviously missing random sections) please tell me!

Darkness festers inside of everyone, no matter who they are. But it is their choice, to either embrace it or lock it up and throw away the key.

Mello was born from sin. A whore mother and a nonbeliever father, saved from the pill due to lack of money and created from poverty. His very first memory is the view of a dirty church, its mahogany wood chipped and rotted away, a old nun holding him close and wiping him clean. His unnamed mother dies during the birth, his very first murder, and the sins only grow.

At age 2, his first word is "slut", because its all his caretakers refer to his mother as. He's reprimanded with a sharp slap.

Age 4, and he throws his first tantrum, because he doesn't want to go but the nasty women he has come to hate can't afford to feed him and he's much too smart for his own good, devil child they call him.

At age 7 he stumbles his way into yet a new family, and its there that he'll commit his next sin, for the father of the house is a sick man and doesn't know that Mello might just be even sicker.

He takes pleasure in the fire that lights up the air that night. 

Its at age 9 that he's brought to Wammy, and he already doesn't like the wrinkled old man, but he's never had a choice, and he knows now won't be any different.

Only 3 months after his introduction to the orphanage and he's already top dog, his bark just as painful as his bite, and both leave scars. He's never known love or innocence, and though he wears the symbol of God around his neck, he's but a mockery of the bible. He revels in the pain he causes, its all he knows, so when he sets his should be child-like eyes on the Lamb, on Near, he feels a hate so strong that his head hurts. The darkness he's got wrapped comfortably around his heart tightens and twists. He wants to teach this boy pain, wants to show him sin, and his thoughts for the next few days focus on a bright white shirt splattered with crimson. It should be frightening, but its all he's known, and he disregards the rising bile easily. Deep down, he knows those nuns from so long ago are right.

He's 13 when the hate that he's gotten so used to twists into his stomach and blossoms into something new. He's at the age of discovery now, and his eyes haven't left Near once, so its not surprising that the blood coursing through his veins boils when he sees Near in the shower. Its a memory he stores away, and he's smart enough to know why.

Sometimes he wonders if Near knows what lurks inside of Mello, but he pushes the thought away seconds after it appears, because Near's number 1 for a reason, and its in all likeliness that he knows he's Mello's prey. 

When he turns 14, his goal of being L is thrown away for a moment, his pride forgotten, because the urges are growing and his body is changing, yearning and needing his sought after prize. 

When he takes Near by the sleeve and drags him to the very back of the building, hidden and safe, Near doesn't struggle. He's known what fate has in store for him since he met the eyes of the devil 5 years ago. He thinks that Mello would be pleased if he knew what Near had named him.

Mello learns lust that night, and the morning after too, because he's had a taste and he wants so much more. He has to stop himself from devouring the boy whole on more than one occasion.

Its days after that people notice the change, the way Mello won't let Near be by himself, the marks of ownership that Near sports and the feral noises that echo down from the last room at the end of the hall. They aren't stupid and they know what has happened, but they don't intervene, they never have, and its how Mello likes it. Near likes it too, though he's too prideful to say so himself. He doesn't hold any cards, doesn't control any aspects of the bond he holds with Mello, but he likes to have a few things he can keep from Mello's greedy mind.

Mello is 15 when he learns of L's death, and he doesn't care much about the tragic news. The others mourn the loss of a hero, but Mello sees only opportunity. He smiles when they frown, and he thinks its then that they all realize he's not human, not really. They don't know his past, and they never will, but they can see his future, and its enough to label him a monster. Mello doesn't mind, and when Near brings it up, he only smirks and makes a few more marks just for his own amusement. He has to wonder, then, if Near thinks he's a monster too.

It doesn't take a genius to know that Near doesn't, and its the first time Mello's ever felt a warm emotion before, but he can't explain it, so he asks Near about it, and when Near cocks his head and urges them closer, he knows that he won't get any verbal answer. 

Later that night, on a plane heading towards Japan so they can properly be named L, together, he wraps his arms around his Lamb and feels it again. His body purrs and his mind shuts down, and he thinks that, even if he can't name what it is, it doesn't matter, because it happens only with Near, and that's good enough for him.


End file.
